Frustration

My eighteen mile run did not happen last week. What happened instead was a fourteen mile run marked by feverish hot and cold chills and the feeling that my body was shutting down around my ears. It didn't seem worth pushing it. I ran a fever most of the week before, and had trouble eating and sleeping. When it came time to run, there just weren't appropriate reserves.

This week went a little more smoothly, I fit in three mid-week runs, and the long run was only supposed to be 10 miles, which seemed like it would be a piece of cake. Unfortunately, I still don't think I ate enough the night before, and it was easily ten degrees warmer than it had been of late. I didn't sleep more than six hours on Friday night, and not long into the run it became clear to me that I was once again running on fumes. This time, at least, I knew I wasn't sick, and I also knew that I wasn't prepared to not finish. So, I dropped back from the pack and took things slower... trying to find a pace I was comfortable with. Of course, since I always run with the group, I've sort of stopped carrying a map and I missed the last turn that I was unfamiliar with. Six mile later, with no water stops and without fueling appropriately, I had found my way back. My route was pretty much the appropriate length, but I certainly didn't run it smart.

So, of course, I got sick from not eating enough or drinking enough while I ran, and I was throwing my party... so being sick wasn't an option. Thank god, for Pepto Bismol. Su and I then spent the afternoon running around and setting up for what turned out to be a fun but very intimate party. Now I'm exhausted, have leftover beer for 30, leftover ziti for 20, and still have $779 to go with the fundraising. My party attendees suggested I sell the beer... we'll have to see.

Anyway, this week is going to be a running intense week... 10 miles on Wednesday and 20 on Saturday... but, Saturday I will be in DC! Anyone want to run 20 miles with me???

Okay... I've reached the point of grovelling....

So,

I'm $1000 away from my fundraising goal, with a month left to go and I'm reaching the point of sheer panic. If you have been reading this blog, and enjoying it, and want to help me out, please think about donating. $1000 is 10 people donating $100, or 20 people donating $50, or 40 people donating $25, or 50 people donating $20, or 66 2/3 people donating $15, or 100 people donating $10, or 200 people donating $5 (doing math is fun). No donation is too small or too large (though I might have trouble finding 1000 people to donate $1). This blog has links to my fundraising page, where you can donate with a credit card... or you can mail me a check made out to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society... just email me for the address

What do you get for your money? My eternal gratitude, a very nice thank you note, and a picture of me crossing the finish line. If you want more than that, and live in Atlanta... I'm probably going to be throwing a party on May 20 and at said party your donation of $20 or more will entitle you to "free" booze and food... so keep the date open. If you want more than that and you live in DC or are planning to be in DC for the summer, I am probably going to be throwing a party on June 4th. More details will hopefully follow.

But what do you really get for your money? The team goal for the Atlanta Alaska Team is $260,000. Raising $200,000 will allow The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society to fund one Translational Research Program for one year. This research program encourages and provides support for new and novel clinical research. The program’s purpose is to fund research that shows high promise for translating basic biomedical knowledge to prevention or new treatments and, ultimately, to prolong and enhance life.

Dr. Christopher Flowers is currently supported by a Translational Research Grant from the Society at Emory University right here in Georgia. Dr. Flowers and his team have identified the subset of donor T-cells that are responsible for causing Graft vs. Host Disease (GvHD), a life-threatening condition brought on by bone marrow transplants with less than a perfect match. They have proposed a way to eliminate these cells from the transplant sample by treating with a type of chemotherapy. The likely outcome of this work will be a new method of transplantation that eliminates one of the most serious potential side effects.

That extra $60,000? Raising $50,000 will allow The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society to fund one Special Fellowship for one year. Special fellows are qualified investigators who have completed a minimum of two years post-doctoral research training and are continuing their research under the direction of a research Sponsor. The Special Fellowship should permit the scientist to transition to an independent research program.

Hinh Ly, PhD is currently supported by a special fellowship from the Society at Emory University in Georgia. Dr. Ly is studying a component of cell machinery that is critically linked to the control of cell growth – the telmerase complex. The likely outcome of his work is a better understanding of this critical piece of cell machinery and how we might use it to regain control of the cancer cell’s growth.

If we exceed our team goal and raise 270,000? That last 20,0000 could be used to support approximately five education programs for patients and families in the State of Georgia, award continuing education units to nurses and social workers, and sponsor five back to school programs.

The Society believes that education is a vital tool to survivorship for patients. Providing education to medical professionals that provide treatment and services to blood cancer patients is also critical to receiving quality health care. The Trish Greene Back To School Program For The Child With Cancer promotes teamwork among medical and school professionals and parents to ensure a successful re-entry to school for children diagnosed with any type of cancer.

If you need to put a face to the disease, go to my fundraising page, take a good look at Elijah, and imagine what the last few years must have been like for him and his family. Or take a look at Abby and Ryan's stories. I've spent the last week laid up with the touch of the flu. I've called countless friends and whined, been a baby, and lamented the time I haven't been able to spend running or getting my work done. Take those feelings of suffering and frustration that we all have when we are sick, multiply it by at least a thousand, and you can begin to imagine what these children (and adults) have gone through or are going through. Try to imagine what it would be like to be three, or four, or five and poked and prodded, constantly sick, and not understand what was happening to you. Try to imagine being the parent of that three, or four, or five year old.

I'm asking you to donate for me, and rescue me from my panic. But, I'm also asking you to donate to this cause because it is a good cause, because this is a good organization, and because I believe we can make this world a little better.

If you are still reading at this point, I have one more request. If someone in your life has been touched by this disease (or any other cancer) and you want me to honor them when I run, please either mail me a ribbon (of any color...) with your personal hero's name written on the ribbon, or email me a name and I will write it on the ribbon. I will pin all of the ribbons to my jersey when I run in Alaska, and carry them with me across the finish line. For those of you who received a fundraising letter from me in the mail, I hope to get a ribbon in the mail to each of you in the next few days that you can mail back to me. Help me honor those you love.

Email me, if you want to send me a name, or if you want more information about either of the two parties.

Thank you so much!

Oh, and be thinking of me on Saturday as I run eighteen miles for the first time.

The Nutritionist

I'm not sure why writing down what I've eaten for the last three days and handing it over to a stranger to critique is scary as all hell.

But it is scary as all hell.

That said, in some ways it passed with flying colors. I don't eat enough green things, I need to be religious about that calcium pill... but apparently the balance of carbs and proteins was great, and I didn't seem to have a problem with sweets (ha, ha, fooled her... but hey, I confessed to both the popsicle and a chocolate truffle (if only there had really been just the one...)).

She even said that it looks like I'm getting close to enough protein. The problem is, apparently I'm a little low in the calorie department, which means my body probably isn't successfully using all of that protein to rebuild muscle... some of it is being burnt up for energy.

Most of our little session was aimed at finding ways to keep me from getting sick on long runs. Her advice: eat more during the run. Basically she wants me to consume 100 calories every half hour to forty five minutes followed by a 300-400 calorie recovery meal that is not a substitute for breakfast, lunch or dinner. That should get my calories up to where they should be and should prevent my body from consuming muscle while I run. Oh, and I'm supposed to add a daily yogurt and some kind of vegetable and come back and see her in two weeks.

I'm kind of sad that she didn't calculate my body fat... just because nobody has ever done it and I'm curious, but ah well.

So Saturday I ran 14 miles in Brooklyn... from my friend's apartment, through Prospect Park and down to Coney Island. It was fun, but, surprise, surprise, I definitely got sick afterwards and was pretty much a zombie for the rest of the day, right Roger? It was sixty degrees and gorgeous thouugh... which was nice. Last night I had a terrible run in Atlanta. I went around 6:30 and the humidity was so bad you could cut the air with a knife... plus I hadn't taken my allergy pill... so I gave up after 4 miles because I was gasping for air... and because my hip was bothering me. Well, the hip bothered me all last night... everytime I rolled over I experienced a searing jolt of pain in my left hip. Today it hurts to walk, and I'm limping around. I guess that running tonight is out of the question.

At the moment I hate running, I'm so frustrated with playing catch up after the neck thing. I'm so frustrated with getting sick after every long run. I just want to go lie on the beach for two weeks and not move. But I'm sure this too shall pass.

Okay, back to final papers.